Why do I always look insane

Another straight rip from Karen’s Flickr:

Egads I look medicated...

I can’t be in pictures without looking at least slightly unhinged. Even when I try to look normal it just comes out “Oh my god this man belongs to a reality that is not our own”

Karen, however, looks elegantly unhinged! Much as one might after a day in the fiery pits of hell, or the seat of power in the western world, the two are really quite interchangable.

Advertisements

Those last two posts were too serious…

To balance it all out, here’s a giant dick joke!

…Don’t you dare judge me.

LAFS can go die in a fire.

So I’m home again.

Taking classes at the local community college while LAFS figures out just how badly they fucked me over.

Oh, and I’m 20 now. That’s about half as old as Star Wars. Heavy shit, man.

(edit: My good friend Travis pointed out to me that I am in fact two-thirds as old as Star Wars. Math sucks, anyway.)

What I’m going to miss

I’ve lived in Washington D.C. all my life. For the first time in twenty years (my birthday is next friday) I will be not just removed from that, but removed from the entire east coast.

I’ve often said that living here makes you insane by default. I think there’s some sort of brain-ray generator at the top of the Washington Monument that makes everyone go batshit crazy. How else do you explain American politics? For all its flaws, which I could easily spend days enumerating, I will miss certain things that I’ve always just taken for granted.

There’s the parks, for one. Rock Creek Park is one of the best places to hike that I’ve ever been to. I’d go there all the time during periods of stress just to even myself out. Then there’s the museums, all of them free, all of them filled with amazing stuff that you just don’t see elsewhere. I’ll even miss the politics. It’s a thinking man’s game, and I tend to think a lot.

I’ll miss the crazy protesters, not the anti-war ones, who have a good cause, but the anti-circumcision ones. Or the anti-spelling ones. The best picket sign I have ever seen read “Enuf is Enuf – Enough is Too Much!”

I’ll miss the music, and the history. I’ll miss the run down record shop on the corner that Dave Grohl used to work at before he was in, and I do believe this is the proper terminology, “Fucking Nirvana

They say around here that DC is Hollywood for ugly people. I wonder what happens when one of us goes to Hollywood?

egads

You would think, that in this magical fairytale world we live in, that some schmuck would invent a tire that is immune to puncture.

Hell, James Bond had that “push a button on your cell phone and make the tires fixed” thing. I want that. More so, I want an invincible tire. I want something that would require explosives to dent it. I want a tire that will eat children if need be.

My dad and I were getting some stuff done today, and the tire blew. Right now I just feel like there’s a big ulcerative lesion where my sanity should be.

…Remember, Andrew, go to your cave.

Ahh... much better