5 AM Blues

Anyone else nocturnal?  I am.

Not all the time, mind you, it tends to cycle back and forth.  Insomnia combined with a vast abundance of “nothing to do” is a powerful thing, or lack thereof, as it were.  At first it made me very distraught, not being able to get practical things done, until I figured out that I really can get practical things done at odd hours, I just hadn’t tried before.  Over a period of months, years perhaps, I adapted, learned how to operate when the rest of the world sleeps.

And then it hit me.

There’s no one to fucking talk to on this planet at 5 AM!  Leastwise no one I’d really want to talk to, all my friends are depressingly “normal” when it comes to sleeping habits.  Habits!  They have habits!  The sheer gall of it astounds me.

You can go walk the streets that would normally pulverize you with noise and be completely undisturbed.  Meditative, even.  Walk for miles without seeing another pedestrian, disturbed only by the occasional whir of a passing car.  Depressing!

There’s a time and place for introspection, and it is rightfully placed during the nighttime hours, but as a general rule you’re not supposed to be up to engage in it this often.  Knowing too much about yourself is just damned unhealthy, I think.  And there’s no one to talk to!

There used to be a time when I’d cram an IRC channel or two into my life as an emotional tampon for my perpetually-menstruating inner-pussy, but as one could imagine it got old rather quickly for those selfish pricks who didn’t want to be ranted at for umpteen odd-hours.  These days, I process most of the menses internally, to take the metaphor way, way too far.

So the 5 AM blues strike me again tonight, no one to talk to but the great question mark in front of my Tubian pulpit, an audience known only by the nameless numbers on the wordpress control panel.

I had 753 of you last month.

Hooray, Tubes!


Nintendo Ex-Pat

I’ve said before that I have not been a console gamer forever. I didn’t play video games at all until I was 11 years old, and even then I preferred PC games to console games. When I did play console games, however, I started with the Nintendo 64.

My reasoning? The analog stick. I was mystified by the directional-pad, as someone who could barely hold a pen, it seemed clunky and unintuitive. The Joystick I used with my PC for flight simulators and space-combat games, however, was perfectly natural.

I played Final Fantasy VII on the PC, along with Final Fantasy VIII. I didn’t own a PlayStation. I became indoctrinated into the Cult of Nintendo during the early days of the internet, when virulent fanboyism was first starting up.

For a long time, I couldn’t see how any console-manufacturer could match Nintendo for quality. These days, however, I feel like a Nintendo expatriate. Continue reading

Assassin’s Crap.

One of the earliest PlayStation 3 games to jump out at me was, well, one of the earliest PlayStation 3 games to jump out at anyone.

Assassin’s Creed, from UbiSoft, appeared to be if not unique, at least polished to a mirror shine. The trailers showed an intensely stylish evolution of the recent Prince of Persia trilogy, starring the enigmatic Altair, an assassin bounding along the rooftops of third-crusade-era Jerusalem.

Today, I read in this month’s Electronic Gaming Monthly, what is perhaps the most ridiculous statement to ever emerge from a game producer. Continue reading