I’m a liar

(note: This post contains wildly harsh language, in quotation. For all my love of the word Fuck, this shit shouldn’t be taken as my own opinion. Consider yourself warned)

I’ve not updated in forever, and honestly it’s because the world is so infuriating at a base level right now that I’m barely staying coherent.

Personal stuff aside, here’s one of the more infuriating facets of the world of late: The 2008 Presidential Campaign. Specifically, the increasingly bitter and hateful primary of my own party, the party I’ve known for tolerance, if not ability to win elections.

Once again they’ve proven to me that if anyone knows how to fuck a sure thing up, its the Democratic National Party. They are the world’s greatest losers. Here we have two of the best political minds of our generation all but killing each other on the campaign trail, their supporters so entrenched that I’ve seen things so absurd that they’re challenging my faith in humanity as a whole.

Clinton supporters talking about the “worthless nigger” Obama.

Obama supporters talking about the “stupid cunt” Clinton.

Putting aside my own political allegiances, this is the most shameful behavior I’ve ever seen, on either side of the aisle. I expect this bullshit from Republicans, that’s why I’m a Democrat. But to see the people themselves so bitterly divided, when they agree on just about everything is nothing short of tragic.

When did people start having, no pun intended, dick-measuring contests over what -ism was worse? Discussions between Obama and Clinton supporters, people who by all rights shouldn’t even be fighting, inevitably turn into “Well you’re a racist, and racism is worse than sexism!” versus “Well you’re a sexist, and sexism is far worse than racism!” ad infinitum.

There are no winners.

If Hillary wins the nomination, and let me be clear, I think she’d be a great president, she does so at the expense of the party. By all accounts she’d have to steal the convention with the superdelegates to come away victorious.

If Obama wins the nomination, and I happen to think he already has, he does so at the cost of a great deal of female support, support he needs.

A compromise ticket is impossible, the divisions run too deep, any ticket with both candidates on it will alienate twice as many people as either one by themselves.

You know the most psychotic thing about it all? This election should be a walk for the Dems. No incumbent party has ever, EVER won re-election to the White House during a recession. Ever! It shouldn’t even be a factor, McCain might as well be a sack of sand, he’s got about the same chance! Or at least he should have, now the Democrats are beating the shit out of one another in some twisted Rovian wet-dream, a nightmare that even the most cynical mind couldn’t have thought up.

I’m a very political guy. I’m political despite my cynicism. I’m political because I think the only way to improve the world is to work with it, not against it. I believe in the essential goodness of humanity, the enduring virtue of survival and ingenuity that cannot be undone by our own machinations. I base everything on the assumption that people are good, misguided at times, but good.

The more I live, though, the harder it is to keep believing in that.

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Modern Gladiatorial Competition

With the recent return of that most shameful of American institutions, American Gladiators, a television program in which mutants try and kill each other with gigantic Nerf weapons, I’m having a strange revelation.

Rome, the world’s first true Republic, seems to have given us two lasting plagues, that are not so dissimilar as they are brother and sister, no doubt born to an incestuous parental unit themselves.

Politics, and killing for sport.

They’re one and the same if you ask me.  Let me take you on a journey, here.  Let’s break it all down. Continue reading

I was right.

Well, I’m projected as right.

Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee are the clear winners of the Iowa Caucuses, however some of my other predictions are in a bit of murk right now.

John Edwards has come in second, beating Hillary Clinton by a narrow, though statistically significant margin.

McCain did not beat expectations, with roughly 12% of the vote, which still isn’t bad. However, his buddy Fred Thompson did beat expectations with a surprisingly strong third-place finish.

Clearly this is a sign of my predictive aptitude, general intelligence, star power, virility, penile size, and overall cocksmanship.

Commence lust, ladies. (Edit:  I should be clear, the lust is meant to be for me, not Barry or Teh Huckbeez.  Natch.)