It’s been a bad case of February

Life’s been a bitch lately.  It’s about that time of year.

Anyway, I do have a musing to share with you all.  I’ve remarked before about how many of my fucking idiot friends are doing things such as getting engaged/married at ages comparable to my own, that is 20 years old.

That’s retarded.

Another one seems to have fallen victim to this breeder curse, albeit one of the psychotic religious nuts.  Bet you didn’t know I had any of those for my friends, godless heathen that I am, eh?   The whole notion of marriage is a dubious one to me.  It hasn’t exactly worked out for the people I know, so I’m reticent to try it.  Of course trying it would require a woman crazy enough to hitch their wagon to a dumpy misanthrope like myself, which is a whole other blog.  Getting married at 20?  That’s just ridiculous, I mean there’s crazy and then there’s scientology crazy, I think getting hitched at 20 falls into the latter category.

Oh well.  If it weren’t for worshipping space Jesus she’d have been pretty hot.  Best of luck in your descent into madness!

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Chaos.

Many people have asked me about the quote I bear as my standard, on the side there.  The reality/fantasy/chaos thing.  Yes.

Its origin was in the Applegeeks chatroom once upon a time, when I was discussing one of my many absolutely batshit ideas.  The one that gave rise to that?  A world domination plan.

Here’s how it works, I take massive doses of fertility drugs for years, and then impregnate a woman, manipulating the eggs to create psychic conjoined fiftuplets.  Not a typo, that’s 50 identical twins all conjoined at the brain.  After they burst Alien-style out of their mother’s shell, I will rear them as a weapon.  I will craft a machine to house them and their massive, massive head filled with the power of 50 brains.  It’s difficult you see because they’re not conjoined at the body, but the head, so giant skull with 50 brains, and 50 faces, and 50 bodies connected to it.  Needless to say being born to such a paragon of mental acuity as myself, they will be able to kill with their thoughts.  To keep them from turning against me I will implant them with behavioral modification before they leave the womb.  The conglomeration will be my slave.  I will drive them around on a massive robot of my design, meant to be impervious to all forms of modern weaponry.  They will proceed to assimilate all resistance around them, subjugating the entire world to my psychic freak and thus me.

I have other psychotic thoughts, but mortal man is incapable of processing more than one at once.  Look for more in the future!

In case anyone thought I was lying…

Pics or it didn’t happen…

WSJ Link

-From the WordPress control panel’s Blog Stats pane.

WSJ Link Two

-From the Wall Street Journal’s website itself.

Also; what does everyone think of my new logo/theme?  Personally I love it, but I welcome criticism in all forms (to the guy who actually made the theme, of course, logo’s all me, though.).

What I’m going to miss

I’ve lived in Washington D.C. all my life. For the first time in twenty years (my birthday is next friday) I will be not just removed from that, but removed from the entire east coast.

I’ve often said that living here makes you insane by default. I think there’s some sort of brain-ray generator at the top of the Washington Monument that makes everyone go batshit crazy. How else do you explain American politics? For all its flaws, which I could easily spend days enumerating, I will miss certain things that I’ve always just taken for granted.

There’s the parks, for one. Rock Creek Park is one of the best places to hike that I’ve ever been to. I’d go there all the time during periods of stress just to even myself out. Then there’s the museums, all of them free, all of them filled with amazing stuff that you just don’t see elsewhere. I’ll even miss the politics. It’s a thinking man’s game, and I tend to think a lot.

I’ll miss the crazy protesters, not the anti-war ones, who have a good cause, but the anti-circumcision ones. Or the anti-spelling ones. The best picket sign I have ever seen read “Enuf is Enuf – Enough is Too Much!”

I’ll miss the music, and the history. I’ll miss the run down record shop on the corner that Dave Grohl used to work at before he was in, and I do believe this is the proper terminology, “Fucking Nirvana

They say around here that DC is Hollywood for ugly people. I wonder what happens when one of us goes to Hollywood?

egads

You would think, that in this magical fairytale world we live in, that some schmuck would invent a tire that is immune to puncture.

Hell, James Bond had that “push a button on your cell phone and make the tires fixed” thing. I want that. More so, I want an invincible tire. I want something that would require explosives to dent it. I want a tire that will eat children if need be.

My dad and I were getting some stuff done today, and the tire blew. Right now I just feel like there’s a big ulcerative lesion where my sanity should be.

…Remember, Andrew, go to your cave.

Ahh... much better

not every moment rules

So I was watching Clerks II again, today. I’ve long maintained that it is Kevin Smith’s best film. I was listening to the commentary, because those cats get pretty rowdy and it’s often as entertaining as the film itself, especially for a dork like me who finds stuff like camera angles intriguing.

Scott Mosier, the irrepressible producer of the View Askew films, and one half of Smodcast (Check it out on iTunes Music Store) had a particularly humorous nugget of insight.

Not every moment rules.

But then again, some moments do.

Hello, internet. Welcome to my world.