Existential Burnout

I’m mad at the world.

Ever since the film-school debacle, and then the subsequent community-college experience which has been, suffice it to say, remedial, I’ve been increasingly jaded and cynical about everything.

Considering I’m one of the most jaded and cynical motherfuckers in my area code by default, that’s saying something.

Consider that my area code contains thousands of federal government workers and contractors and you will soon realize that this isn’t very good at all.

I’ve played Halo 3 to death and back, and Warcraft is just a sort of numbing, mindless entertainment. My whole job in that game revolves around pressing two buttons and not dying. It doesn’t matter which job I’m doing, they’re all “Two buttons, don’t die.” Paladin is simple like that.

I’m creatively starved, I need to start writing again. The problem is, that I’m a writer who can’t write for its own sake. I have to have reinforcement and feedback, even if it is “Your writing is atrocious and your character development is stillborn. Whoever gave you a keyboard should be lynched.”

I’m funny that way.


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