My new citadel is in many ways paradoxical. It does not show up on any known mapping program, yet packages still make their way here. It is not in Lynchburg, but it is said to be so. Sometimes the GPS on my phone tells me I am in Lynchburg. Sometimes, Rustburg. Note that both these [...]
The Epic Legends: The Great Trial of the Sword Kings
I know I have only posted one epic legend before, but lo, another has happened during my long absence. A force that will no doubt shape many things to come. Read on, dear friends, and learn of the Great Trial. Over the past two years I became a proper adult human. I know, you’re thinking [...]
Fourteen years.
Twenty-four years ago yesterday I was brought screaming, chestburster-style from my mother’s bio-prison. Twenty-four years in the DC Metro area, twenty-four years since I was born in the building next door. Fourteen years ago I moved from a townhouse to an apartment, for economic reasons. it was cheaper. I was ten, and the moving distance [...]
Cocksucking has broken my friend.
After reading my epic screed on the philosophical implications of fellatio, my good friend Travis seems to have been broken. He just spent a good five minutes with his fists balled into his eyes, his world unraveling at the thought of his mother, our high school principal, and Joan Fucking Rivers sucking merrily on man-meat. [...]
This is all ridiculous.
While trying in vain to fall asleep at 7:30 in the morning, I had a thought. The thought wasn’t a particularly dignified one, nor was it particularly profound on its own merit. I realized that the vast majority of women I know have probably, at some point in their lives, had their mouths affixed to [...]
You never quite realize
I’ve been in this odd place for a while now. I call it the Cryogenically Unfrozen Effect, where I’m relatively unchanged, and the group of people I’ve known since childhood have undergone any number of cataclysmic shitstorms while I’ve been dark, so to speak. Every now and then I check up on the miscreants I [...]
Pessimism
I’m beginning to think that my generation has gotten the shaft. The boomers were often maligned for being self-centered and arrogant, which in many cases I can agree with. However, the boomers also gave birth to Rock & Roll, drove the civil rights movement, and ended the Vietnam war. With such a vital force at [...]
