Blade Runner is the greatest film ever.
An unpopular statement, to be sure, there are so many more brilliant films, Metropolis, Citizen Kane, 2001. For sheer visual artistry, I cannot find one that matches Blade Runner, a film so stunningly ahead of its time that few could dream of matching it before 2017, the date [...]
Tears in the rain.
Cocksucking has broken my friend.
After reading my epic screed on the philosophical implications of fellatio, my good friend Travis seems to have been broken.
He just spent a good five minutes with his fists balled into his eyes, his world unraveling at the thought of his mother, our high school principal, and Joan Fucking Rivers sucking merrily on man-meat. He [...]
The Best Joke In The World.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It isn’t hard.
This is all ridiculous.
While trying in vain to fall asleep at 7:30 in the morning, I had a thought.
The thought wasn’t a particularly dignified one, nor was it particularly profound on its own merit.
I realized that the vast majority of women I know have probably, at some point in their lives, had their mouths affixed to male genitalia.
Don’t [...]
REVIEW: Assassin’s Creed (Or how I learned what not to do when designing a game)
My thoughts on Assassin’s Creed are rather bleak. The whole affair, from the insultingly cynical marketing, to the hype campaign, to the shoddy execution is just depressing.
The game’s a Molyneux, to coin a term. Simply put, it so desperately tries to innovate that it forgets all those things that make games worthwhile, like [...]
Update: Supporting Ron Paul makes you a bad person.
It also is known to cause sterility, global warming, and war.
Ron Paul is an ignorant racist psychotic
So I’ve noticed many people I know are going apeshit about the Internet’s Favorite Candidate, Ron Paul.
Ron Paul, Republican congressman from Texas, former libertarian presidential candidate, who is beloved by an army of ignorant followers mostly for his desire to legalize drugs, prostitution, and withdraw from Iraq.
Only problem is he’s a vicious racist who accepts [...]
When the skies go gray.
After two decades of living in this shitty city of mine I start to hate the day-in-day-out. The skies go gray too often.
I don’t know if it’s the mid-atlantic weather, or the fog of lies that emanates from this chocolate city’s marshmallow center that makes it all so bleak. Sometimes I think its [...]
Infuriating “Civilized” Behavior
As any person with a suite of neuroses will tell you, often times the easiest thing for the common man will be to ignore you. It’s not a bad thing, mind you, I’ve got more than my share of mental issues and I get along just fine if people who don’t understand don’t bother [...]
Merry Christmas, Happy Tuesday, Etc
Even the most militant of atheists can appreciate the goodness of the holidays. Be sure to enjoy them, from Hanukkah to Festivus, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day, remember that not all things in the world are broken.
As-salaam alaykum, my friends,
-Andrew Zimmer
